i'm such a lonely arse. its 1.30 in the morning, i spent my saturday at home boring holes into my books. i haven't anyone to talk to, nel's asleep as usual, we don't really talk too much nowadays, just a couple of phone calls saying absolutely nothing. he is tired and i promised to be more understanding, so i'm talkin to my blog and feeling mildly sardonic about it. it was so long ago when i was relishin in his attentiveness, loving they way he went both ends of the world to brighten up my day. now i think he feels like he has done everythin to humour me and i'm still dissatisfied. i think usually its the simple things in life everyone tends to overlook, or maybe its just different gender perspectives. however it is, i think my relationship is mirroring the relational decline model i've just read in my textbook. to be very precise, i'm at the dyadic stage. ignore me i'm just taking a jab at myself, feeling mildly depressed you see, its a deadly combination of stress and boredom and loneliness and maybe the rain.